


There’s Only One (Way to Get Some Peace)

by CC99trialanderrorgirl



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Drunk!Steve McGarrett, Getting Together, Happy Ending, M/M, Trigger Warning: brief mention of purging (not eating disorder related), mcdanno
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-27
Updated: 2017-05-27
Packaged: 2018-11-05 17:15:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11017899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CC99trialanderrorgirl/pseuds/CC99trialanderrorgirl
Summary: Steve is drunk during a night out with the team and things are spiraling out of his careful control.





	There’s Only One (Way to Get Some Peace)

Steve was drunk. He knew that allowing things to progress to this point had been a mistake, but somehow he hadn’t been able to stop himself. Seeing Danny with that woman…Steve winced. His head was spinning; this was not good. He should have waited until he was alone - he knew that. It was what he had done his entire adult life, and it had worked for him: waiting until he was alone before he let himself fall apart. Why couldn’t he have done that tonight? If he had just held it together a little longer…

His fingers tightened around the glass in his hand, the cool condensation dripping down the bottle and wetting his fingers. The night air felt cloying, despite the overhead fans going in the beachfront bar. Across the table, Kono laughed, and he heard Danny and his… _date_ …echo her sentiments. Glancing down with unseeing eyes, Steve felt more than saw his palm turning white as he gripped his beer even tighter. He was so off his game tonight, so far gone, and he just hoped to God that no one noticed. Chin had been shooting him some weird looks, and it was making Steve antsy. He wanted to get up, but he wasn’t positive that he _could_. It was a pretty demoralizing realization for a former Navy SEAL. How had tonight spiraled so completely out of his control? 

Steve might not be a SEAL anymore, but he sure as hell took care of his body just the same as if he were on active duty. _Never let your guard down, always remain in control, count your breaths and stay calm…_ He hadn’t done any of that tonight. Instead, he’d let his emotions get the better of him, overwhelming his physical and emotional control. He’d had one drink, and then another, and another, and another…until he’d lost count somewhere around seven. Or was it nine? He honestly wasn’t sure, and his head was swimming in this alarming way that made him want to throw up or pass out, and he couldn’t let that happen – couldn’t let people _see_ that happen. Especially not his team. Especially not Danny. Or his… _date_. So Steve took a few deep breaths, steeled himself, and, calling on every nanosecond of training and experience he had under his belt, forced the words out in a flat, even tone, “Excuse me, please. Bathroom.” And then he stood and pushed his chair back, cataloging the movements he needed to make before he made them, willing his body to follow his commands. He made it out of his seat and into a standing position without stumbling once. Bracing his palm flat against the table for a moment to ground himself, he let the cool of the granite tabletop seep into his skin before taking a step back, turning carefully, and making his way to the men’s room at _Tiki’s_.

As he walked, his body working on muscle memory alone, he thought about earlier tonight, and the moment that had made him decide to drink more than was wise – more than he knew he should, especially in public. He should know better than to put himself in a vulnerable position. He _did_ know better. But earlier tonight, he just hadn’t cared. Danny had been smiling at that woman at the counter, leaning against the bar and positively chatting her up. When Danny flashed his newfound female companion a grin and slid his card across the bar – his personal cell number scrawled across the back – Steve had blanched. He’d felt his world lurch, listing heavily to the right like a ship in a squall. It had been nauseating, but he’d recovered. When next he looked up, Danny was standing with his back to the bar, the woman directly in front of him, whispering something in his ear. Steve had turned, blindly gesturing to the bartender for another beer, a shot, a whiskey…anything. He honestly wasn’t sure what he’d ended up with – he just opened his mouth and swallowed it back. He had barely felt the alcoholic burn as it went down. He barely felt anything at all, not since the moment Danny had walked up to that woman and not been immediately shot down.

He stumbled, but recovered quickly, glancing around to check if anyone had seen. The bartender was looking at him with a quizzical expression; Steve shook his head to reassure the guy that he was fine, and then immediately prayed that he wouldn’t throw up before he got out of sight.

When he entered the men’s room, it wasn’t empty – of course. Lou was in there, finishing his business and zipping up. “Hey, man,” Lou said, his smile big and wide and friendly. Steve winced, the panic rising in his throat, and – just great, way to stay cool, _Smooth Dog –_ he murmured something in a rushed voice, “Gotta…” before he disappeared into a stall, trying not to toss his cookies. Or worse, tear up. Because the problem wasn’t that he was drunk – although he was – the problem was that he couldn’t get the thought of Danny touching that woman, and that woman touching Danny in return, out of his head. _That_ was what was making him sick. After he saw for himself how awkward they were together, and then shortly thereafter Danny and Melissa had broken up, Steve thought he was safe. He had clawed his way back to that coveted number one spot in Danny’s life (excepting the kids, of course), and nothing and no one was going to come along and take that away from him. Danny was his best friend, his partner, and that was for _life._ Except now Danny was talking about retirement, and flirting with women at bars, and Steve just couldn’t _take_ it anymore. God, he might have to move. Disappear in the middle of the night. Chin could lead the task force, and Kono was almost as good a backup for the team to have with them in the field as he himself was. They’d be okay without him. They’d manage; they’d go on. But Steve didn’t think _he_ could go on. Not like this. Not anymore. He was a _mess_ tonight, and it was all because he’d let this thing with Danny go too far. No, this kind of love wasn’t good for anyone, if that’s even what it was. He’d never _really_ been in love before, and so Steve wasn’t even sure. He just knew that he needed Danny like he needed air, and that watching the man he loved with someone else would surely kill him quicker than any bullet ever could.

So he made his second stupid move of the night. After forcing himself to throw up, knowing he’d feel better and his head would be clearer after the purge, Steve hoisted himself up and, arms locked around the support beam running parallel along the ceiling, prepared to kick open the window above the stall. Of course, that was the moment that Chin walked in. Steve dropped to the ground in a millisecond, landing silently on his haunches, but he was pretty sure Chin knew he was there. Chin, being the tactful man he was, said nothing; he just did what he came in for, washed up quickly, and exited the restroom, door swinging shut behind him. The second it closed, Steve was up again, and this time he really did kick out the window. Letting his momentum carry him, he vaulted gracefully out the window, landing in a crouch on the ground about eight feet below. His boots crunched softly in the garden as he crept around the side of the building and out toward the street. He was halfway through the parking lot, mere feet from the asylum of his truck, when a familiar voice stopped him. He froze, but when he didn’t hear his name called, he crouched down and ran to the truck, stopping just behind it and peering around.

He could see Danny standing next to the familiar black Camaro SS, his facial features and hair lit up by the floodlight directly above him. Standing next to Danny was the woman from the bar. She seemed to be trying to convince Danny to do something. Steve’s face fell; he wondered if maybe it would be better if he didn’t watch. Just as he was about to turn away, Danny’s voice caught his attention. Steve froze, listening but not quite believing the words he was hearing.

“Look,” Danny was saying in that soft, reasonable tone he used to cajole scared bystanders and witnesses. “It’s not that I’m not flattered, or even interested – I am. But, look, I’ve got this person, okay? This _person_ who has just taken over my life for the last seven years, and that’s the person that’s in my heart, and I’m not the type of guy to do something with someone when I’m in love with someone else, okay? I’m sorry, but I’m just not.” The woman protested, said something Steve only half-heard, focused as he was on Danny, on that faint sliver of _hope_ …No, he must still be drunk. Out of his mind. Plastered. But then Danny was speaking again, and there was no mistaking the meaning of his words. 

“Look, I appreciate the interest, I do. And some other time, maybe. But tonight, right _now_ , in this life, I gotta say no. There’s this guy…his name’s Steve…and I’m not over him. I don’t think I’ll _ever_ be over him really. So I gotta say no, because I love him, and I don’t fuck women when I know I’m in love with someone else.” Steve’s breath is caught somewhere in his throat, and he can feel the familiar burning in his lungs that means his body needs oxygen. But try as he might, he just can’t seem to draw a breath. He’s standing before he even knows what he’s doing, stepping out of the shadows, completely on autopilot. He takes steps without seeing, with not even a vestige of a sense of control; his heart is running the show, and for once in his life, that’s okay. “ _Danny_ …” he breathes, soft, like he didn’t even mean to say it, and all of a sudden, Danny is there, in his space, meeting him halfway and he looks scared to death but Steve doesn’t care, can’t see anything but Danny’s gorgeous face, and before he knows it, Steve has a hand cradling the back of Danny’s neck and the other on his face, tugging him in for an open-mouthed kiss.

The woman disappears, the sounds from the bar fade away, and the lights in the parking lot blink out one by one. All that’s left is _Steve and Danny_ , _Danny and Steve_ , and it’s all Steve has ever wanted and so much more. When he can’t see straight from the lack of oxygen, he pulls away, opening his eyes wide and looking directly into Danny’s. “I love you, babe,” Steve says, and Danny just smiles, big and wide and so in love, and asks, “You’re not still drunk, are you?” When Steve says no in a clear voice, Danny looks up at the sky and mutters, “Thank God,” before going in for another kiss.

Chin and Kono and Lou find them like that, making out like teenagers in the middle of the parking lot at midnight, and Lou jokingly threatens to arrest them. Chin and Kono both raise their eyebrows simultaneously at the way Danny doesn’t come back with a smart comment, and even moreso – _wow_ – at the completely blissed out look in Steve’s eyes when he finally pulls far enough from Danny for them to see his face. Steve looks drunk, high, stoned…but it’s clear that he is none of those things, and that the look in his eyes is so strange because it’s one they’ve never seen him with before – peace. This is what Lt. Commander Steve McGarrett looks like at peace: in Detective Danny William’s arms, on a balmy Tuesday night standing in a tourist bar parking lot in Hawaii, with kiss-slicked lips and a stunned smile on his face.


End file.
